VH2 called wanting to feature me, TheDaddyComplex, IfJanetRanIt, and LazyDad in an episode for its show, Behinds in Music. The episode was to be titled, “The Real Fake Story Behind One of the Greatest Cover Bands that Gay Germans Have Ever Known”. What can I say? We had a very specific following.
It was so many years ago that TheDaddyComplex answered my ad looking for someone to jumpstart an Air Supply cover band. During the interview, he said he’d been in the closet for years. I thought he was referring to other things when in reality he meant his love of Air Supply. Apparently, his friends were totes against Australian soft rock. Who knew peeps could feel such animosity towards Aussie soft rock? Anyway, oopsie.
I decided we’d call ourselves Air Lingus, cuz to a gay man who doesn’t speak Irish and is slightly confused about what it is exactly that the other side of the Kinsey scale does, it sounded dirty. Frankly, had I known at the time that Lingus is most likely a version of the Irish word Loingeas (which means fleet) we’d have probably picked the name Air Loins, but it’s water under the bridge now.
IfJanetRanIt and LazyDad had a Nena cover band called NoneYa and we opened for them. Really, when you look back at the videos, it’s amazing how much LazyDad looked just like Nena when he let his hurr-did grow out a bit, got a perm, and used a little white foundation makeup. And, who knew Hawaiian schools taught such flawless German?
We got signed to do a summer tour through Germany. Everything was going great for awhile. IfJanetRanIt’s husband, Scotch, that’s what he went by back then because he thought it sounded more edgy, even joined us on the tour, shooting all of our press photos. Really, though, I think he just joined the tour because he was worried that LazyDad might put the prom moves on IfJanetRanIt. And, for the record, LazyDad swears that edginess had nothing to do with the Scotch name change. He says IfJanetRanIt’s husband had a fascination with clear tape and the name change was a tribute to one of the greatest clear tape makers of all time.
But, all good things must come to an end. The tour manager demanded that Scotch be shirtless when taking pictures of us during on-stage performances. Scotch, having been born wearing a shirt and a firm believer that one doesn’t even appear in Hawaii vacation photos unless wearing a shirt, was adamantly opposed to the shirtless requirement. And with that, we were fired.
The press picked up the whole shirtgate story of our firing and next thing you know under the glare of the media spotlight TheDaddyComplex, when asked about performing love songs with a gay man, went all M. Butterfly screeching, “My singing partner is a Gurrrl? I thought my singing partner was a girl!” And with that he was gone, but not before making me sign a nondisclosure agreement covering much of our time as Air Lingus.
In his defense, he did always call me Girl instead of Gurrrl, but I mean, c’mon. TheDaddyComplex’s favorite thing to do in college was float down a secluded river at night with other guys. Seriously? Jeesh, straight dudes are so confusing.
It’s ironic that years later he’s confessing his love of drunken poodles and publishing photos of himself in bed with another man but our time as the singing group Air Lingus is still covered by a nondisclosure agreement. I’ll bet he doesn’t even mention his time in Air Lingus during his upcoming book tours.
Maybe I should call those VH2 producers back. Everybody loves a good scandal during a book tour! Nondisclosure agreement be damned!