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YoungerTwin’s school is having Pirate Day tomorrow so we were putting together his pirate costume tonight.

Whenever I think of pirates, Jimmy Buffett comes to mind. I remember listening to “A Pirate Looks at Forty” for the first time when I was a bit younger than YoungerTwin’s current age.

And, now, in the blink of an eye, I’m older than the “pirate” referenced in the song.

Ugh. How did this happen?

I haven’t followed this Scotland secession vote very carefully. But, I must confess that when I do read about it or see pictures of newspaper front pages (like these) addressing the issue, I feel like Great Britain is sort of singing, “Total Eclipse of the Heart”, to Scotland.

(Turn around)
Every now and then
I get a little bit lonely
And you’re never coming round

(Turn around)
Every now and then
I get a little bit nervous
That the best of all the years have gone by

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you only hold me tight
We’ll be holding on forever
And we’ll only be making it right
'Cause we'll never be wrong
Together we can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time

Maybe, if they want Scotland to stay, they actually should? Couldn’t hurt.

(Clearly, I’d make a terrible politician. I’d try solving every world problem by finding just the right song and lip-synching to it.) 

Terri Clark - Poor, Poor Pitiful Me - YouTube
If you haven’t read this post by lazydad you really should. 

I’ve been asked this same question by OlderTwin. And  it’s heartbreaking because I don’t know if it’s coming from us or his classmates. 

OlderTwin’s chromosomal disorder is responsible for his intellectual disability, as well as, his behavioral issues. Medication and therapy are the best remedies for his behavioral issues. Unfortunately, the medication has a weight gain side effect, resulting from an increased desire for carbohydrates; a general increase in appetite; and a changed metabolism. 

To prevent an unhealthy weight gain (some kids on this medicine have gained 20 lbs in a month) we closely monitor his food intake and, in consultation with his psychiatrist and psychotherapist, have routine conversations about food moderation in an effort to help him understand why he can’t have 5 servings of macaroni and cheese or a dinner consisting of all carbohydrates. 

We also consistently offer fruit, fruit, fruit when he’s experiencing an increased appetite episode. We use these moments to explain the value of snacking on fruit (e.g., it satisfies hunger without pushing caloric intake through the roof). Thankfully, he loves fruit so these offerings are greeted with happiness.

We also have to monitor his weight on a weekly basis to ensure there hasn’t been a significant change. 

It’s a heartbreaking and a painstaking process because we have to make every effort to help him understand all of this food and weight monitoring isn’t because there’s anything inherently wrong with him or being overweight but that any weight gain brought on by his medication would most likely be unhealthy due to the rapid pace at which it would occur as well as it being most likely triggered by the over consumption of unhealthy food.

To this point, we’ve been fairly successful at preventing any significant weight gain. However, while he’s the same height as YoungerTwin and only weighs a pound more, he appears to have a belly whereas YoungerTwin has a six-pack. This appearance difference is attributable to OlderTwin’s low muscle tone, another side effect of his genetic condition, which causes his belly to pooch out a bit. 

So, I don’t know if he asks, “Am I fat?”, because he heard that at school from classmates who’ve noticed his slight belly or infers it from our conversations about food intake and weight maintenance. It’s a frustrating and extremely guilt inducing topic for me, which is why we enlist the help of his psychiatrist and therapist to make sure our messaging is a positive one and not one likely to produce shame. But, f*ck, it still produces a lot of worry on my part that we’re to blame for his question.

He’ll always crave starchy, sweet foods because of his medication so he has to learn how to effectively deal with those cravings. That’s no easy task when you’re mental disability makes it difficult for you to grasp and recall routine concepts, meaning even though you’re nearly 8 years old you still ask every Saturday and Sunday morning, “Do I have school today?”

If you haven’t read this post by lazydad you really should.

I’ve been asked this same question by OlderTwin. And it’s heartbreaking because I don’t know if it’s coming from us or his classmates.

OlderTwin’s chromosomal disorder is responsible for his intellectual disability, as well as, his behavioral issues. Medication and therapy are the best remedies for his behavioral issues. Unfortunately, the medication has a weight gain side effect, resulting from an increased desire for carbohydrates; a general increase in appetite; and a changed metabolism.

To prevent an unhealthy weight gain (some kids on this medicine have gained 20 lbs in a month) we closely monitor his food intake and, in consultation with his psychiatrist and psychotherapist, have routine conversations about food moderation in an effort to help him understand why he can’t have 5 servings of macaroni and cheese or a dinner consisting of all carbohydrates.

We also consistently offer fruit, fruit, fruit when he’s experiencing an increased appetite episode. We use these moments to explain the value of snacking on fruit (e.g., it satisfies hunger without pushing caloric intake through the roof). Thankfully, he loves fruit so these offerings are greeted with happiness.

We also have to monitor his weight on a weekly basis to ensure there hasn’t been a significant change.

It’s a heartbreaking and a painstaking process because we have to make every effort to help him understand all of this food and weight monitoring isn’t because there’s anything inherently wrong with him or being overweight but that any weight gain brought on by his medication would most likely be unhealthy due to the rapid pace at which it would occur as well as it being most likely triggered by the over consumption of unhealthy food.

To this point, we’ve been fairly successful at preventing any significant weight gain. However, while he’s the same height as YoungerTwin and only weighs a pound more, he appears to have a belly whereas YoungerTwin has a six-pack. This appearance difference is attributable to OlderTwin’s low muscle tone, another side effect of his genetic condition, which causes his belly to pooch out a bit.

So, I don’t know if he asks, “Am I fat?”, because he heard that at school from classmates who’ve noticed his slight belly or infers it from our conversations about food intake and weight maintenance. It’s a frustrating and extremely guilt inducing topic for me, which is why we enlist the help of his psychiatrist and therapist to make sure our messaging is a positive one and not one likely to produce shame. But, f*ck, it still produces a lot of worry on my part that we’re to blame for his question.

He’ll always crave starchy, sweet foods because of his medication so he has to learn how to effectively deal with those cravings. That’s no easy task when you’re mental disability makes it difficult for you to grasp and recall routine concepts, meaning even though you’re nearly 8 years old you still ask every Saturday and Sunday morning, “Do I have school today?”

thedaddycomplex - Well, that’s an easy one to answer. 

Gurrrl, I’m on neither side. Look at that road. It’s on a hill. I grew up in Florida where it’s flat. We ain’t had to worry about which way to turn our wheels when we parked. 

But, then life took me to California, where there are lots of hills. So, now, I gotta use my smartphone every time I park on a d*mn hill to figure out which way to turn my wheels. Even worse is when I gotta get outta the d*mn car to see if there’s a curb or not because that can change the whole matter of which way to turn the wheels. 

F*ck. That’s way too much work. So, I’m on neither side cuz I drove around and found parking on a flat street. Or, more likely, I just stayed home.

thedaddycomplex - Well, that’s an easy one to answer.

Gurrrl, I’m on neither side. Look at that road. It’s on a hill. I grew up in Florida where it’s flat. We ain’t had to worry about which way to turn our wheels when we parked.

But, then life took me to California, where there are lots of hills. So, now, I gotta use my smartphone every time I park on a d*mn hill to figure out which way to turn my wheels. Even worse is when I gotta get outta the d*mn car to see if there’s a curb or not because that can change the whole matter of which way to turn the wheels.

F*ck. That’s way too much work. So, I’m on neither side cuz I drove around and found parking on a flat street. Or, more likely, I just stayed home.

A couple that we know announced their pregnancy about six weeks ago. It was towards the end of the first trimester that they told us. A few weeks ago, they also announced the gender of the baby. We were very excited for this couple as they are the nicest folks and we know they’ll be awesome parents.

When I saw the husband last night, I figured it was safe (given it is near the half-way point in the pregnancy) to ask how his wife is doing. That’s when he told me that she very recently had a miscarriage.

I feel like such an ass and wish that I’d just kept my mouth shut or could read minds and would have just somehow known what had happened so as not to ask a question that just picks at what I’m sure is a very painful wound.

I told him the only thing that I know to say to parents in that situation.

I am so sorry for your loss and sadness. If needed, I’m always here to listen.

He sensed my guilt at bringing up the subject of his wife’s pregnancy and told me that doing so was a natural inquiry driven by genuine interest, excitement, and affection for them as a couple and not to feel guilty about it. He’s such a class act. He’s suffered a terrible loss but is offering reassurance to me. (Just one of the many reasons I know they’ll be great parents.)

As we parted ways he told me something that struck me as sad but so true. “I’m not sure how to preemptively tell people, outside our close social circle, about our loss so I imagine I’ll have this same conversation with many more people over the next few weeks.”

Kansas City Grandmother Wows Crowds With Her Magical Room Of Sequined Penises

and I rarely, rarely say that but The Skeleton Twins has my curiosity peaked.

I’m the father of twins and want them to be close as adults. (This could be because I tend to romanticize the concept of a sibling since I grew up without one.) I want to know what went wrong with the movie’s fraternal twins and if the parents were to blame. Don’t want to repeat any errors their parents made.

I’m also a gay man and, you know what, it’s nice to see a film featuring a character who just happens to be gay. I mean I get it. The bulk of the world is straight so I’m gonna have to sit through a lot of hetero movies because mass marketing to the masses is a winning formula. I’m cool with that, really. But, I won’t deny that it’s nice to see a gay character who’s not the gay, high school BFF sidekick; the gay serial killer; or the gay comic relief for a sad, absurdly emotional, heterosexual love story.

But, if all that wasn’t reason enough, I’m hooked on seeing this movie simply because there’s a lip synching scene to the song, “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now”. I lurve that song. My teen years were spent crushing on Andrew McCarthy. When Mannequin played at the theater where I worked I would sneak into either the projection booth or the auditorium to watch it whenever I could. Have so much of that film’s dialogue memorized, even to this day.

The Skeleton Twins is exactly my kinda movie. I just have to see this one.

My first visit to New York City didn’t occur until I was fifteen years old. However, I’d learned a great deal about New York City from television, movies, and the musical, Hello, Dolly! (Or, ummm, so I thought.) 

I first learned the words to the songs from Hello, Dolly! when I was about six-years-old and could play the score on the piano by the time I was ten. (How my family missed this rather obvious clue that my future would include a husband, rather than a wife, is beyond me.) Anyhoo, upon my first visit to NYC, I realized my love for Hello, Dolly! , although indicative of a wonderful taste in Broadway musicals, had left me very confused about New York geography. In the musical, Yonkers is heavily featured because it’s the home for several of the main characters.

In one particular song, Yonkers is described as a “hick town”. Additionally, in that same song, Cornelius and Barnaby decide to sneak off to visit New York City, using the train to get there. From the “hick town” description and the use of the train, I thought the distance from Yonkers to New York City was hundreds of miles. So, imagine my shock and dismay when I visited Manhattan for the first time and learned that Yonkers is only about 12 or so miles away.

Musicals have rarely led me astray but in this one instance, they had me totally confused about New York geography. 

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