Aug 10

To the 43 people who have either called or texted me in the past 36 hours: No. I’m not selling a Samsung Galaxy Phone. I don’t even know what a Samsung Galaxy phone is. I have, however, eaten a Galaxy candy bar and they’re quite delicious. But, they’re probably unrelated to a Galaxy phone. 

To the nudnik trying to sell his Samsung Galaxy phone: You’re probably wondering why nobody has contacted you about the phone you’re trying to sell. When you wrote your ad, you reversed two of the digits in your area code, leading to me getting all the phone calls and texts about your phone. If you can’t do any better than this, perhaps you shouldn’t be trusted with a phone.

To the person with the PA area code: If I had a phone for sale, I wouldn’t sell it to you anyway because you need to learn some manners. There are only two acceptable reasons to call someone at 3:38 a.m.

  1. It’s a booty call and you know the person will say, “Sure.”
  2. There’s been a death in the immediate family.

Calling to buy a cell phone does not fall under either category. 

To seven of the people who texted me about the “Gallaxy” phone: Please learn how to spell the word galaxy. Despite what you think, the word doesn’t have two “L”s. I looked it up, just in the off-chance I’ve been misspelling it my entire life. Nope. I was correct. One “L”.

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36 Notes

  1. thesassyprince said: oh my gosh. why do I feel like only you would have this this happen to you?
  2. northernmomma said: I would have freaked out w a 3:30 am call!
  3. bageldreams said: I’m sorry to laugh at this, but it was funny. Well written so you’re doing your job. Sorry about the booty call though!
  4. mywildloves said: you’re hilarious.
  5. electradaddy posted this

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