The folks over at TheDailyWhat had a post today about a dad & the practice of “kid shaming”. Given the picture that was used, I suspect the post was meant to be a somewhat light-hearted way of addressing a real topic. I’ve included a screenshot of the poll question the website asked in its post.
Take a look at the third answer choice, “Where’s Mom in all this?!” Ugh. I see that question asked with regularity in comment sections to news stories about children that have been harmed in one way or another. I dislike that question for a number of reasons. In this case, think about what that answer choice is really saying.
- Dads will sometimes make bad choices. However, moms never make bad choices so if she’d been there this wouldn’t have happened.
- Moms are never allowed to leave their children because if they do and Dad makes a bad decision then whatever happens is not his fault, it’s Mom’s fault since she had the audacity to be away from her children.
This “Where was the mom?” question is an insult to both moms and dads. Whenever I see it, I want to give one of the following answers.
- Maybe mom is dead. Thanks for bringing up that memory.
- There is no mom. The child has two dads.
- Mom is at work. Because like millions of families in this country, the couple needs two incomes to make ends meet.
- Mom is at work because dad is the stay at home parent.
- Mom took some time to herself to attend a sporting event, get her nails done, have dinner with her friends, or enjoy any other form of down time that every parent sometimes needs. So, Mom, quite reasonably, left the child with Dad.
But, really, I guess the answer should be: Who the f*ck cares? If the picture was a bad idea then it isn’t Mom’s fault since she wasn’t even there so let’s keep the focus on Dad’s behavior in this case and stop trying to somehow needlessly blame Mom.
And, again, I realize TheDailyWhat post was meant to be somewhat humorous. Nevertheless, I see this line of reasoning appear all the time in other situations and it just seems grossly unfair to Moms and Dads.
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sweetcarolinealine likes this
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asimpledad said:
This is an example of people not recognizing stereotypes. That moms are x and dad are y. We do not parent based upon gender. We should not make assumptions based on them either. It is like the Huggies commercials with the dads drives me nuts.
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