Sep 29

Being the kind, loving father that I am, I decided to take the twins to a kiddie amusement park at the Oakland zoo. After I paid $8 to park and bought a $20 book of ride tickets, OlderTwin decided to pitch the worst “throw-himself-on-the-ground-like-an-annoying-brat” fit that I have ever experienced. And, why? All because he didn’t want to wait in any of the lines found at each of the rides. He wanted to ride the bumper cars because there was no line for that ride. He refused to accept that there was no line at that ride because that ride was broken and not operating!!!

After two failed attempts to cajole him back to sanity, I decided, “Nope. Not doing this.” I scooped him up and headed for our minivan. At that point, YoungerTwin became hysterical because he didn’t want to leave since he’d been behaving himself. I, thus, found myself staggering through the parking lot with two screaming and crying five year olds.

As we were driving away, they spent ten minutes griping and complaining about what a mean daddy I was for not tolerating dreadful behavior on their part. It was at this point that I decided I’m trading in the minivan for a limo. One of those limos with the partition that can be raised so the driver can’t hear anything the passengers are saying!!! I seriously want to know why this technology has not been developed for the average family car or minivan. I know I can’t be the only parent who has thought it would come in handy from time to time.

But, since I didn’t have a partition this afternoon, I found my happy place by playing my pick me up song & pretending to hear nothing being chanted from the peanut gallery in the back seat.

Oy. What an afternoon!

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35 Notes

  1. mammalingo said: Love the idea!
  2. themamalogues said: you are my new parenting hero - I like the follow through on leaving, not just threatening it and not doing it. (and when Harry whines at mealtimes I sing christmas songs in a creepy over-cheerful way).
  3. bujnik said: Ear plugs. And high five for getting the fuck out of there and not making yourself deal with that bullshit. Children are terrorists and you never negotiate with terrorists.
  4. ifapictureisworthathousandwords said: My mom used to say she was having that window installed in our suburban. And as a teen at the time I was hoping she was serious! Did they return to sanity later in the afternoon?
  5. mommaofboys said: I couldn’t help but smile as I read this. Having been through 3 boys aged 5 and under and one who had meltdowns on a regular basis, I get it. It brought back wonderful memories of the good ole days. I hope they made you smile today.
  6. bardowlatry said: I would pay ALL THE MONEY for one of those partitions!
  7. electradaddy posted this

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