YoungerTwin’s kindergarten class has a mascot. It’s a stuffed animal that resembles a Siberian Husky and its name, conveniently enough, is Husky. Every Friday the teacher draws a name and when your name is drawn you get to take Husky home for the weekend.
Let me just pause for a second to point out that Husky is being passed around from home to home with the kids. I’ve already gotten a notice this school year about a student having lice so I hesitate to imagine under what living conditions Husky finds himself subjected to each weekend. Perhaps, it would be more realistic for Husky to be a German Shepherd named Germy?!?
Anyway, when I picked up YoungerTwin from school on Friday, he was elated to announce that his name had been drawn so Husky would be staying with us for the weekend. I thought, “Ok. Great. No problem.” Kindergarteners don’t have homework so I figured this would be easy-peasy.
While it’s true that Kindergarteners don’t have homework, upon opening the bag in which Husky “lives”, I discovered that parents do have homework. Inside the bag was a journal accompanied by a note that says parents are to write a one page summary of all the things Husky did with our family over the weekend.
What? A writing assignment? Are you kidding me? As if life with twins isn’t crazy enough I now have to spend Sunday evening writing a summary that will be shared with the kids in YoungerTwin’s class and that other parents will no doubt read when they host Husky for the weekend.
At this point, I began to feel a twinge of animosity towards Husky and briefly considered scribbling a note that informed students of the sad news that Husky had been diagnosed with rabies and met with the same fate as Old Yeller. But, since this is Kindergarten, I thought the students might find that rather traumatic so I decided, “Ok. We can do this.”
And, of course, you don’t want to be the family who loses Husky. How embarrassing would that be? Much like when I’m responsible for someone else’s child, I found myself being hyper-vigilant about Husky’s safety. Yes. I spent my entire weekend stressing about the safety of a f*cking stuffed animal. Merry Marshmallow on a Stick! At one point, DynaPapa told me if I didn’t calm down, relax, and stop worrying he was going to slip me a Xanax.
So, now we come to Sunday night and I have absolutely no idea what to write. Am I supposed to write this entry from Husky’s point of view, my point of view as the parent, or simply write down whatever YoungerTwin dictates to me? And I would like to point out that the parents who have hosted Husky so far this year are f*cking liars. I simply don’t believe that Husky has flown in a hot-air balloon, been to Disneyland, or met Obama & Romney at private fundraising functions as two obviously competing parents allege. Here’s our story. Of course, I’m going to have to edit out all the bad stuff and make-up a bunch of bullsh*t so that we don’t look like the freakin’ Addams Family.
Friday: YoungerTwin’s grandparents were preparing for their return trip to Alabama so it was quite hectic and Husky got left in the car overnight. Thank goodness he’s a stuffed animal and not a real dog; otherwise, he probably would have died from heat exhaustion.
Saturday: Husky was rescued from the car and received an incredible amount of attention until our visit to the Lego store. At that point, Husky was pretty much abandoned when YoungerTwin decided his new Ninjago Lego set was more exciting. Fearing that he would get lonely, I let Husky help me cook dinner. This seemed like a good idea until I absent-mindedly set Husky in the freezer while I was rearranging some items so I could get to the ice cream that had been pushed to the back.
Sunday: Rescued Husky from the freezer. After this incident and his overnight stay in the car, I can assure everyone that Husky tolerates extreme temperature fluctuations amazingly well. YoungerTwin was over his Ninjago obsession so Husky was once again showered with attention. This created a sense of jealousy with OlderTwin and Husky did become embroiled in a nasty custody dispute between two brothers. This may or may not have led me to scream in a public place, “If you two don’t stop arguing over that d*mn dog, I’m going to lock him in the trunk.” When people don’t understand the dog in question is a stuffed animal, they really tend to overreact, giving the most evil stares and saying the most hateful things.
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- mydiyk reblogged this from electradaddy and added:
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- thekidhasarrived said: Dying. Give him the Old Yeller treatment! Rabies for Husky!
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- kesslersantos said: My son’s bear came home with a journal so you got to see which parents had too much time on their hands (the ones that had pictures pictures and actually took the bear to do things) and make you feel like a bad parent for doing all those things.
- magmom said: I dislike these assignments so much. I graduated from college, I assumed I was done with homework then!
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- themamalogues said: 1st thing Husky should have experienced was an hour or two of a high heat tumble in the drier for de-lousing. ;)
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