As I’ve mentioned before, we have a friend who likes to play party games when she hosts a dinner. At our last get-together we had to list the ten things we would miss most and the ten things we wouldn’t miss at all if we dropped dead tomorrow.
- Having to buy pants. I have never owned a pair of pants that fit right. Every time I buy pants I’m forced to confront the fact that I apparently have a funky shaped body. No. I won’t miss buying pants. At all.
- Being stuck in traffic.
- Having to talk on the phone.
- Making small talk with the Safeway cashier who is slower than molasses but I’m afraid if I scream, “Jesus Christ could you scan my groceries a bit faster and shut the hell up?” that she will then scan them even slower - every time she sees me.
- Making meringue. I love it. But it’s a pain in the ass.
- A slow internet connection. I have no patience when it comes to technology. If I want to look at a website, I want to look at it now. Not in 23 seconds because the connection is slow for some unknown, annoying, and hard-to-understand reason. Now. Dammit.
- Listening to anyone who gives me unsolicited parenting advice, particularly if they don’t have kids or multiples. Having two kids -even if they’re close in age- is not the same thing as having twins. It just f*cking isn’t so shut the hell up and stop offering me unsolicited advice.
- Changing the toilet paper roll. I don’t know why I hate this so much. I will often leave it unchanged and simply prop a new roll on top of the toilet. This infuriates DynaPapa so I try to just change it. But, often, I don’t. Because I don’t like to. Sue me.
- Watching a terrible movie at a theater. Because I paid for it, I feel compelled to watch a movie even if 5 minutes into it I know it’s horrible and will most likely not improve. I simply can’t leave because if I do I will feel wasteful and convince myself that the goddesses of finance will curse me and I’ll wind up homeless. All because I left the theater in the middle of a horrible movie.
- Mean people. Because, well, they suck.
What I Will Miss (Very Much):
- Hearing my children in the early morning as they run from their room to my room to jump in bed with me before we start our day.
- Cupcakes. Because they f*cking taste good.
- Singing “Hush Little Baby” to my children. Every night. Since they were born.
- DynaPapa when he loves me even after I’ve been a jerk.
- Accelerating onto the freeway. I’ve always found this exhilarating. Like a set of new possibilities is in front of you.
- Butter. Because it f*cking tastes good.
- The momentary feeling of accomplishment that I get when I finish a workout. Because I hate working out, in general, this feeling is very momentary but it’s nice the entire nanosecond that it lasts.
- Listening to music.
- That feeling of the water pelting your back as you stand in the shower when you manage to get the temperature of the water Just Right. It doesn’t often happen because there are so many factors that affect the Just Right temperature but when it happens it’s glorious. Isn’t it?
- The smile you see on a friend’s face or hear in their voice when they’re truly happy to see you or speak with you. It means you matter. How can you beat that?
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- kitkatloves said: We bought a hot water system that you set the water temp on a control pad and then just turn on the hot water. Best investment because I now don’t stand there for 10 mins trying to get the water perfect.
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- muchadoaboutannie said: Amen to all of this!!
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- daysofthedad said: Great lists!
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- bujnik said: I miss my first car so much when I accelerate, my old car kicked over and my new shitty 4 cylinder does not.
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- photosbykime said: what a great host and game to do, makes one think too about this list for me :)
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